No Ball Games

That's what the signs said when I was a kid.

I'm a Dundonian and quite proud of it. We're pretty much Scotlands forgotten city and in the 70's our council screwed up our heritage by taking backhanders for tearing down our historical buildings but I still love the city. Given this I was quite shocked when Rosa got a friend request on Facebook by my sister Angela who stated on her page that she comes from Carnoustie!

To be fair we did move to Carnoustie for a few years but give me a fucking break. Angela isn't just from Dundee she's from Whitfield and Douglas which were really bad places at the time, one of my first memories is getting my toys stolen off me by kids coming back from school. This doesn't mean you should deny it all though, what's wrong with doing good whilst coming from a bad place?

OTOH she's loaded now because she married a man the same age as our dad and perhaps a little lying helps smooth the process. You wouldn't want to give him a shock before it all goes through.

Let's be other people

More normal stuff to blog about soon but as an aside my new Trail of Cthulhu campaign started last week and I'm blogging about it elsewhere. My thoughts are going to be in the Keeping Cthulhu blog whilst my players probably won't bother posting to the Trailing Cthulhu blog. Ian's already posted a pic though it seems his smartphone is a bit stupid on the old text fromt.

Hopefully this will turn out to be an exciting game that changes us all, moves our hearts and adds to the art in the world. It's more likely to break down in a mess of hatred and recrimination or just not work at all but I'm willing to give it a go.

Cthulhu ftagn ftagn!

Even polar bears need warm hearts to make it through the snow!

I have a lovely sister-in-law. She's intelligent, witty and has very pretty eyes. Not as pretty as mines of course but who does? Unfortunately she's also completely delusional.

Back at the beginning of December we here in jolly old Scotland had a wee bit of snow. When I say a wee bit it was the worst snowfall here since records began. My sister-in-law, we'll call her Marieka since that's her name, thought that this sounded great. Living in South Africa she's never seen actual snow falling from the actual sky and thinks it's a wonderful and romantic thing and wants to experience it herself.

To be fair snow is a wonderful and romantic thing when you've just got up and you're watching it through the double-glazing whilst sipping coffee. That's a great 5 minutes. Afterwards it's just a complete fucking hassle! To truly experience snow you have to go through a couple of weeks of digging the car out, falling on your arse on the black ice and generally freezing your bollocks off.

I know some will say that we only had about six inches, that's nothing compared to Alaska or Finland, and I could always move somewhere warmer but that's kind of missing the point. The UK isn't set up to deal with this kind of stuff because in general it's not ususally this bad so it's kind of pointless to invest in an infrastructure you only need every decade or so, if I lived in Finland I'd probably kill myself like so many other peeps who live in Finland do and all the warmer places are fucking dangerous!

You see the beauty of living in Scotland is that the country itself isn't actively trying to kill you. We don't have deadly snakes, venomous spiders or sicko dropbears. Generally the only way to get the environment to kill you here is to a complete idiot and go ice-climbing or something and you've got to be a real idiot as all the way up the pregnant weather girl on the radio will be telling you that it's only idiot weather on the hills.

Frankly I like living in a slightly miserable but pretty safe country where you don't have to check the bowl before you have a crap in case there's a giant bollock eating spider in there. For those who want to experience the wonders of snow you're invited across nexst time as long as you're out at seven every morning with a spade, are willing to travel 20 miles on black ice in the dark each way and nip out for my fags.

Resurrecting the crap!

Ok so it's been a while and when that happens it takes a bit to get the stuff goinf again. Proper post soon and it'll be about the horrors of the winter.

And the picture disnae fit. To be totally frank I've spent a fair part of an hour sorting out the wee bits to get the auld blog up and running so if ye can help out just a wee bit by clicking on the picture it would be appreciated. You don't have to likesay though I will think less of you.