Sunday, March 09, 2008

Parochial News Day!

Just on a whim I decided to look at New Zealand news today. Imagine my surprise to stumble on a story so relevant not only to myself but to some of you out there,

Cricket: NZ win first test against England by 189 runs

1:08PM Sunday March 09, 2008
Ross Taylor, Jeetan Patel and Jamie How congratulate Kyle Mills during day five. Photo / Getty Images

Ross Taylor, Jeetan Patel and Jamie How congratulate Kyle Mills during day five.

New Zealand have won the first cricket test against England by 189 runs after the tourist's second innings disintegrated for just 110 on the final afternoon at Seddon Park here today.

Ian Bell top scored in a forlorn run chase, his unbeaten 54 one of only two double figure contributions before England were routed shortly before the tea interval.

Monty Panesar was the last wicket to fall when he was caught by Brendon McCullum off the bowling of Jacob Oram for eight.

Seamers Kyle Mills and Chris Martin wrought the havoc with spells of four for nine and three for nine respectively decimating an England innings that lasted just 55 overs.

Mills finished with four for 16 from 13 overs and Martin three for 33 from 13.

New Zealand skipper Daniel Vettori was named man of the match after innings of 88 and 35 dovetailed with a big bowling output - two for 60 off 38 overs in England's first innings.

England had been set 300 to win after Vettori declared New Zealand's second innings closed at 177 for nine seven overs into the day.

The second test of the three-match series starts at Wellington's Basin Reserve on Thursday.


I really don't think the NZ Herald is being entirely fair about this match. The BBC website is much more balanced in it's description of one of Englands "most ignominous defeats in recent history" as they got a "paltry 110 on a flat track" and I'm inclined to agree. Kevin Pietersens face was priceless. Add to this the English losing 15-9 to Scotland in the rugby Calcutta Cup yesterday, awful game though it was, and I'm a very happy man.

One of the things I've always liked about the Kiwis is that they are such nice people. Take rap star Che Fu for example. Whilst Snoop Dogg is getting done for guns and drugs and is banned from entering the UK, 50 Cent is showing off his bullet scars and Mike Skinner is telling stories of drug-taking and shagging pop starlets Che Fu is giving something back,

Che Fu wants recycling lyrics

East And Bays Courier | Saturday, 08 March 2008

Kiwi music star Che Fu has written a rap chorus promoting recycling and wants kids to fill in the gaps.

The renowned R’n’B artist is working with the Glass Packaging Forum to encourage young people to recycle at home, school and the community.

A competition aimed at nine to 15-year-olds asks kids and teens to turn their thoughts on recycling into lyrics to Che Fu’s music.

The winning students from the North and South islands each win $1000 for their schools and a day recording their lyrics with Che Fu in an Auckland studio.

Every school will receive a poster with details of the competition in their copy of the Education Gazette.

Students can download the beat and then "rap the gaps" with their own words.

Lyrics need to include a name for the new mobile glass crusher, say why glass recycling is important and what the crushed glass could be used for in their community.

The competition is open until April 18. Winners will be announced on World Environment Day on June 5, which will be hosted in Wellington.

Kids today! When I was young it was all about misogyny, drugs and violence, now look at them with their social awareness and care of the environment They should be hanging out on street corners drinking cheap white cider and getting off with each other. It never did me any harm.

Meanwhile the Manukau Courier shows us that there are seriously mental people everywhere you look,

Guide dogs have a giggle

Manukau Courier | Friday, 07 March 2008


BUGGED: Guide dog puppy Emjay looks a little unsure about being dressed as a ladybird for the fancy dress competition at Manurewa fun day.

Tails, not tongues were wagging on Sunday when 29 guide dog puppies and breeding stock gathered for their annual fun day at the Guide Dog Services centre in Manurewa.

The day is a chance for volunteer puppy walkers, breeding stock guardians and guide dog boarders to get together and have a good time, says puppy development manager Paula Gemmell.

"They are really vital to the success of the guide dog programme so it’s great to give them the chance to get to know each other, chat and share their funny stories."

"It’s meant to be a fun day but it can get quite competitive out there!" she says.

The dogs competed in a range of categories from best condition to waggiest tail and even entered a fancy dress competition.

Volunteer puppy walkers socialise young puppies as part of the guide dog puppy development programme.

Their role is to introduce the puppies to situations they will encounter as guide dogs.

The Royal New Zealand Foundation of the Blind’s annual Red Puppy Appeal is from April 4 to 6 so puppy walkers, breeding stock guardians, guide dog boarders and thousands of other volunteers will be out collecting money.

The foundation needs to raise more than $1 million so it can continue to provide guide dogs to blind, deaf-blind and vision-impaired New Zealanders.

Now I'm all for a bit of fun but look at what they've done to the poor we animal! Not to be outdone the Taranaki Daily News goes one weirdo better. I like what they've done with the title btw,

Horrie in hurry hitches a ride in a Honda

JAYNE HULBERT - Taranaki Daily News | Saturday, 08 March 2008

MARK DWYER/Taranaki Daily News

Anna Kirk and Horrie the donkey take a road trip in Anna's Honda Civic.

Donkeys are known for their use as transport, but Horrie prefers to hitch a ride in a Honda.

Anna Kirk's been known to take her favourite donkey Horrie on a road trip in the back of her three-door Honda Civic.

This week Horrie happily climbed aboard Anna's red Civic, stood up on the back seat and took in the scenery during their 40-minute jaunt in rural New Plymouth. Why? Well, why not?

Anna (21) wanted her parents to meet young Horrie and her trusty Honda proved the perfect transport.

And Anna had her reasons for the taking the loveable Horrie to the visit the folks. "I wanted mum and dad to buy him themselves really and I thought if I took him up there to show them, then, well they would love him," laughed Anna.

Unfortunately, Anna's mum and dad weren't home. She says Horrie seemed quite content in the car.

While there was a comfort stop along the way, Horrie did disgrace himself once in the car, but that hasn't put Anna off.

"Maybe I'll just take him to the beach, or my boyfriend's house ... shorter trips I think."

Horrie is one of a trio of jacks (male donkeys) being cared for at the country property where Anna boards. About a year old, Horrie and his siblings Ronald and Buddy, are living the good life on Carrington Rd.

So don't be surprised if you see Anna and Horrie hitting the highways in the Honda.

You may think that's funny but it's a health and safety nightmare that just wouldn't be acceptable here at the heart of the Empire. We have much better ways of making an ass out of ourselves.

I'll get my coat.

No comments: