Just because

A mate passed me a link to the new Pheonix Foundation video and I just though Ed and Marieke might like it,

In which tapdancing, existentialism & penguins collide

Why are Calvinists against sex standing up?

Because it’s dangerously close to dancing.

At the weekend Rosa and I watched Happy Feet, the heartwarming animation about a penguin who can’t sing but can tapdance. Now this seems like a pretty thin premise to base a 90 minute film on and to be frank it is. The film meanders it’s way through some rather boring singing, pointless chases and pretty dull digressions. My mate Martin said that he felt it gave him some pretty good insight into autism and I can see that. The main character Mumble has a birth defect that hinders his communication with others, apparently emperor penguins mating rituals consist of elaborate singing of popular music a la Moulin Rouge, and the film charts his progress in making others understand his condition and eventually teaching them his form of communication. Of course this means at the end all the other penguins can sing and dance which means that not only is Mumbles a cripple he’s given away the only thing that makes him special. To be fair there are some laughs from Robin Williams South American penguins, the computer animation is fantastic and I quite enjoyed the emperor penguins Calvinist leader who reminds me of the joke at the start but it’s not enough to compete against stuff like The Incredibles or Finding Nemo.

What would have improved the film immensely would have been to end it around ten minutes earlier than they did. At this point Mumbles has been captured and put into a zoo. We watch as he first loses hope and then his mind, he begins repeatedly running against the wall in a scene of mad despair. As the broken penguin bangs his head against the wall again and again the scene shifts to a view of the country, then the world and finally to the uncaring void of space. The End!

Now I understand that this may seem a bit of a depressing way to end a childrens film but this isn’t just because of the pleasure I would gain from watching hundreds of little brats greeting their wee hearts out as they leave the picture house although that’s definitely a consideration. The reason for ending it here would be not only that it makes it a better film but that it would teach the bairns early on what their life is going to be like. After taking the child to see the film I picture the loving parent explaining to them that they are that penguin and it is their head that will banging against the wall for the next seventy years. Nothing like crushing their expectations early if you ask me.

This is it, this is where I'll be

After weeks of house-hunting and a few disappointments it looks like Rosa and I may finally have managed to sort of, nearly buy a flat. The week before we headed out to Portugal to hang out with her auld dears we had a viewing of a two bedroom flat which turned out to be exactly what we wanted and last Monday they accepted our second offer of only thirteen grand more than the asking price. Of course this doesn’t mean we actually have the flat yet as a survey brought up possible problems with damp floorboards or something so we’re having to send in a timber specialist to check it out and tell us if he needs to do whatever timber specialists do or not as the case may be. Once we know if anything needs done we can offer the owners a bit less to cover it so it’s all good.

“But enough of the boring stuff what about the flat?” I hear you cry. Well that’s what my mind is telling me when in reality if anybody was ever reading this they gave up long ago and everything I’m typing is being flung into the void of cyberspace only to be stumbled upon by people of mistype their Google searches. It’s all a bit pointless really when you think about it. I mean what’s it all about? We come from nothing and we go into nothing and what do we leave? Nothing. There’s really no point in anything really although Smarties are nice. Anyway enough channelling Graham let me tell you about the flat. It’s a two bedroom ground floor flat right around the corner from the one we used to rent. If you were up for the wedding you’ll know where it is as it’s right across the road from the park we got married in. The kitchen’s a good size with plenty of room for the two of us to cook and the bathroom and bedrooms are fine but the living room is fantastic. More the 20’ long and east facing there’s plenty of room for a dining table and we’ll get the morning sun. All in all it’s a great flat that should do us for a long time and give us a decent profit if we sell so let’s hope it all works out and we can move in next month.