Parochial letters day

Conspiracy theories have been a big thing for a long while what with JFK, Roswell and Princess Di all having been talked about at length but none of this prepared me for the shocking revelations about Post Office closures brought up in yesterdays Tele,

Is Brussels behind closures?

I HAVE been reading about the hundreds of sub post offices in our cities, towns and rural areas under threat because the Government wants to save money by cutting the subsidy.

I know the EU are not keen on this type of subsidy.

Is their unseen hand behind this retrograde step? — Countryman.

Now he points it out I can't believe that those damned Frenchies are out to destroy the great British Post Office the bastards! In the spirit of Woodward and that other bloke from All The Presidents Men the Tele put their finest reporters on the case and came back with this answer,

A spokesman for the DTI said, “The closures of post offices is not a result of EU pressure.

“The Government is continuing an annual subsidy of around £150 million a year until at least 2011 to help safeguard a national network.

“Despite this continuing money, some offices have to close because people are using the post office less — around four million people a week fewer than two years ago. More and more people are choosing to have their benefits paid into bank accounts, use phone banking, direct debit or on-line services.”

I'm not convinced by this use of logic and common sense surely it was the space aliens. But it's not only the EU that's out to get us as Tom points out in a letter to The Courier,

Now there are no kilts!

Sir,—I heard recently on the radio that the Government does not have enough kilts to supply all of the Highland regiments at this time? Is this yet another ploy to “stick the knife” into them, by trying to get rid of tartan now?

Tom Handy.
11 Cameron Place,
Crieff.

Or mibbee they just never ordered enough kilts Tom eh? They're a right funny lot up in Crieff.

And I hadn't heard this rumour about an all you can eat Chinese restauraunt in the city centre,

Customer hope

MY HUSBAND and I are regular customers at Jimmy Chung’s, Dundee, and continued to visit during unfounded rumours regarding seagulls. The quality of food and excellent service has been maintained and I hope customers return. — Chris Treanor, Dundee.

Now granted the food there is clarty but come on.

Christmas Havers

It's four sleeps til Christmas and it seems that we're nearly completely sorted. All the presents have been bought, the turkey's on order from the butchers and we've got Muppets DVD's to watch on the day instead of the Queens speech which I as a Scotsman don't have to watch but I'm sure all you wee colonials out there make sure you tune into it. It feels good to be organised especially when we dived into Tesco's earlier this evening and were stunned at the rammy inside. The supermarkets only shut for a day but peeps seem to act as if the Apocalypse has come and by Sunday it's going to every man for himself in the drinks aisle and murder in the High Street. I think we'll go to the pictures which should be blissfully empty.

As happens every year the debate over the commercialisation of Christmas has come up again and all sorts of peeps have been bemoaning the fact that many young children don't think of the Babby Jesus when they think of Christmas and that this makes the Babby Jesus cry. Whilst this is an understandable worry for those of Christian beliefs it fails to admit that we live in a pretty much secular society and Christmas is not a religious festival for the majority of the people in this society. It has become a generalised midwinter festival that helps us get through the darkest days of the season just as midwinter festivals are supposed to. It's 5 months out on the birth of the Babby Jesus anyway. As to the horrendous amount we spend on it if people want a big blow-out once a year I have no problem with it and sometimes it's good to spoil the kids and I want a pony anyway so there!

The other side of the commercialism in the UK came up this year with the Farepack scandal in which a British hamper savings company went under losing a lot of pretty sodding poor people all their Christmas money ruining their Christmas. This has also highlighted that these hamper companies are con merchants preying on the poorest in our society.

On the brighter side IrnBru have put out their first ever Christmas advert and it's bloody brilliant.

Drunken blogging...

Is what this is so I'm going to keep things in the general area likesay. Let us start with the vital info,

Motherwell 2-3 Dundee United

We're 8th in the League and there's still a chance they might end up in the top 6 in time for the split. Our mate Graham's coming up in Febuary so we might drag him along for for a peh at the game an a'that.

I watch in awe at the mess that the English have made of the Ashes.

I will be talking about the music I've seen and picked up this year before Hogmanny probably as part of a round-up of the year but mibbe not. Either way it's been a good year musicwise for me and the Kiwigirl. If you check the link to Grahams blog he's been talking a lot about musice recently although he really needs to calm down a notch and realise it's supposed to be fun! If it's not fun why bother?

Rosa's still wonderful. She's having such a hard time with stuff that's happened recently but her first thought is always to a'bdy else. I just wish I could fix it.

Anyway just a badly typed check in. I might never get around to talking about the whole Dundee Christmas tree scandal after all but you never know.

Dundee United 3-1 Inverness Caledonian Thistle

Tannadice Terrors are my favourite team,
Saturday afternoon at 3,
They can turn it on and win by a mile,
They're the Premier team with class and style,
When the forwards score a goal, this is what the Shed Boys roar...

(Chorus)

It's United,
They're my own team,
It's United Black & Tangerine,
It's United - you've got to be,
D-U-F-C...

Europe's next where we are gonna go,
I just can't wait to see those golden goals,
United's magic there's no mistake,
And the manager's got just what it takes,
When the forwards score a goal, this is what the Shed Boys roar...

Chorus x2

And if you lose your way to Tannadice next week
Just walk towards the sound of EASY! EASY!

In the town where I was born,
Lived a man called Jerry Kerr,
And he told me of his life,
As United's manager,

We all live in a tangerine machine,
A tangerine machine,
A tangerine machine,
We all live in a tangerine machine,
A tangerine machine,
A tangerine machine..

United, Dundee United,
I can't help falling in love with you,
United, Dundee United,
I can't help falling in love with you...

And what sport is Scotland the greatest at?

Weirdly enough we are the best at elephant polo. Screw you World we totally rule!

Hibernian 2-1 Dundee United

I'm not going to get down about an away loss to Hibs who are an okay team. I've also become aware that some of you only come here to check out the United score you sad gits.

In other news todays is Rosa's birthday and I'm feeling rotten after taking her out for Thai food and far too many cocktails last night on her Birthday Eve celebrations. Suffice to say last night ended with me saying the living room floor was really comfortable and I could see no advantage in getting up to go to bed.

Who are we and other random shite.

I'm making no more comment on certain things apart from my last post. Just not my place.

I've been thinking about online personas recently and I don't quite get it. Yeah my mates and I have posed as Jewish Mexican Gay Sex Addicts on XBoxlive to wind up Merkin Nazi Youth but it's been a one night thing fuelled by copious drink and a need to piss off idiots so it doesn't count. What I'm talking about is people who creat an internet persona and then sustain it for months or years. What is the fucking point? Sorry this is just another way of communicating and putting more noise in front of the signal is just plain weird, just accept that you're a fat 28yr old virgin and not a hardarse streetfighter and you might find that shit might go better for you. I just find the whole thing weird and it gets weirder when peeps tell me I'm just as annoying in RL as I am on the intraweb, it's not an act folks I am this much of a prat.

Still thinking about South Africa and astounded at how much walking over Table Mountain means to me. You see when you go to another country it's the small differences that get you like you know in France they don't call a Quarter Pounder a Quarter Pounder the call it a Royale with cheese? I'm still stunned.

This weeks new toy is LoveFilm.com which is a DVD rental service that provides up to 3 DVD's at a time for 16 squid a month and in the first few days it's sodding great. Last night we watched The Blues Brothers to distract us from nonsense in our lives and it was wonderful, tonight it was The Big Lebowski and we've got a Mexican film for Sunday with more stuff coming early next week. I love this. We can get the whole of Seinfield also.

I'm still suffering from existential angst but I can't be arsed getting The Cure, Albert Camus, a random arab and myself to all gather on an Algerian beach so I can kill the arab so I remain cheerful.

Please hug the person you love.