Thursday, October 25, 2007

Parochial News and Dundee-Hab Day

Well it's been a while what with weddings and stuff getting in the way but the news and accompanying letters about our fair city soldier on. Currently we're having a resurgence of the Dundee Taxi Wars as private hire cars undercut the the normal taxis, it's been going on for a while now and I'm sure you'd love to hear all about it but I frankly think it's dead boring so let's look at this instead,

Ill-thought out ad

The offending billboard.

THERE are billboards in Dundee plugging divorce advice from a firm of solicitors.

The ad shows some poor man rolling his eyes, while his wife is clearly nagging him in the background. Women must be furious at this ill-thought-out sexist ad. — Barry Boon, Dundee.

Yup one of our local solicitors is advertising divorce to get away from that shrew of a wife. The picture says it all, Poor Boab's stumbled home after a hard weekend of spending all his pay in the pub and the bookies and that shrew of a wife starts in on him right away. Well now Boab knows exactly where to go for help. Somebody should tell Blackadders that we don't need reminded solicitors are arseholes. Come to think of it is Blackadder really the best name to have if your a solicitor, surely advertising yourself as a relative of a famous comedy conniving bastard isn't the best way to create a sense of trust with your clients?

With Taxi Wars II: The Yellow Plates Strike Back ramping up as taxi drivers have a go slow to get their message across, I'm serious they're actually driving slower than normal in protest, we Dundonians must turn our eyes to other modes of transport. Whilst I continue to practice X-treme Urban Cycling other dudes and dudettes have to get their gnarly kicks from public transport which has it's own hellacious dangers, I'll stop that now,

Buggies should be banned

I watch people getting on and off buses with buggies and sometimes they have great difficulty with the larger ones.
I watch people getting on and off buses with buggies and sometimes they have great difficulty with the larger ones.

I fear if there was ever a fire on a bus there would be a tragedy as passengers behind buggies would be trapped.

Buggies should be banned. — Observer.

Too much time on your hands and a hatred of single mothers gives Mr Nutty McNutty of Nuttyville here some really weird ideas. I personally think they should ban old people from buses because they smell of wee but I don't feel the need to tell the world about it do I?

Also just so you know,

Clean cats

I HAVE two cats. One goes out to the toilet and clears up after itself. The other uses its tray.

I would not go out in the dark to walk two cats at night. — Marion Bathgate, Charleston Drive, Dundee.

Cheers for that Marion! To be honest after 20 minutes of digging I found out what this was all about but if I have to go to all that effort I don't see why you shouldn't.

And finally we move from our local paper to the pages of a national Sunday broadsheet where we can find out how the City of Discovery is seen by others,

This Modern Life

The Habby Habit

Kneehab, Wii-hab and me-hab: the new rehab

John Hind
Sunday October 14, 2007
The Observer

For addiction workers, rehabaholics (people who habitually go in and out of rehab) and modern linguists alike, little has proven more addictive this year than any (and every) new word with 'hab' in it - and preferably at the end.

Uttering some of these words, such as kneehab (rehab involving prayer), threehab (no booze, no narcotics and no tobacco) and Dundeehab (a holiday away from the city with the highest rate of drug addiction), they almost make old styles of rehab sound fab again. Others, like e-hab, DVDhab, Wii-hab and Blackberryhab, subcategorise the experiences (whether parentally imposed or due to physical injury) of cold-turkeying from new technology.

In a nation hopelessly hooked on the 'habby' habit, a penniless professional crack fiend will recite his Rehab Portfolio, a professional golfer who's missed a tournament is said to have been in teehab and a healthy eating campaigner implores the poor and/or obese to go into kebabhab.

There is now prehab, dehab and freehab for, respectively, the night prior to entering into rehab, the morning of departing rehab and the period prior to being implored to get back in again. There is me-hab for those believing 'the trick is to get away from oneself', thee-hab for those blaming everyone but themselves (usually during gabhab therapy sessions), and she-hab and he-hab for those identifying the opposite sex as the problem. Some, in groupiehab and girleehab, are just plain showing off. As are those who list celebrities they've shared a bucket with in Prioryhab. While those in Jihab sound like they might be taking the 'higher power' in Step 5 a little too seriously for their own good.

Cheers for that peeps!

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